A moon buggy jockey walks into the bar wearing his jump suit open at
the collar and is met by the bouncer who tells him he must wear a
necktie to get in. So the guy goes out to his rover and looks around in
vain for a tie of some kind. No luck. Finally, in desperation - he’s
thirsty! - his eyes light on a pair of jumper cables. With Lunan
resourcefulness, he wraps them around his neck, ties a halfway decent
knot, and let’s the ends dangle, one fashionably lower than the other.
Hopeful, he goes back into the bar and smiles at the bouncer who looks
at him hard a few minutes. “Aw, all right. .. Just don’t start
anything!”
A skeleton from the Spaceship Graveyard
walks into the bar and says, “I’d like a Zombie and a mop.”
An Alien from Arcturus walks into the
bar and orders a Scotch and Soda. The bartender serves it up with a
smile and says, “That’ll be ten bucks. You know, we don’t get many like
you around here!” The Archer nods, frowning, “I guess not, at
these prices!”
The visitor from a distant neutron star
waddled into the bar and chirped, “we shall want a warm stale beer.” So
the bartender poured a glass of draft and zapped it for a minute in the
microwave, before setting it before the strange neuter creature, asking
if it suited its needs. “This is just fine!” the neutron being said,
taking a quaff. “How much?” it asked. “Hey, no charge!” the bartender
replied.
A clone of René Descartes walked into
the bar and the bartender asks “How about a bottle of our finest
imported French wine for the Monsieur?”
“I think not!” said Descartes. And poof! he vanishes.
A young vampire couple comes into the
bar. “I’ll have a pint of blood” said he. “And I’ll have a pint of
plasma,” said she. “Okay!” said the bartender, “coming up, ... one
blood, ... and one blood light.”
Based on bar humor that came to us from
Carl L. Harstad via email from Ben Huset and thereupon rewritten for
MMM by our very own Prospector Pete.
